The Sussex Interview: Lessons Learned
Hello lovelies! Happy new month! I am sorry to barge you with this but since it is hot, grab your pop-corn and let us talk about it. I have created a section called “Lez go dia”, a Nigerian colloquial way of saying “let’s talk about it”. If there are any topics that are sizzling and simmering, I will be using this space to talk about it.
On Sunday, March 7, The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Prince Harry and Princess Meghan sat down with the Queen of Talk, her majesty Oprah of House Winfrey. I did not watch it because yours truly was securing her coins at TamBo’s Kitchen. I also wanted to sit down and listen. This is not a documentary you watch while doing something else. Today, I sat down and listened. I listened, with my heart, with a pen and paper. Facebook is aghast, the news media won’t stop talking. Everyone has an opinion or two. I guess I do too. 🙂
What better place to talk than my safe space on this blog and to also have a no holds conversation about the interview. Today is International Womens Day. I salute the Duchess for her candor.
Quick disclosure, I will be giving my feedback from scriptural, cultural and common sense lenses. I am going to dish out judgement where necessary, mercy where necessary, compassion where it is needed and I will leave it to you to judge.
What did I learn?
1. Woman, know who you are marrying and the family you are marrying into. I am a proud Yoruba girl. The Yoruba culture is rich with doctrines, statutes and ordinances when it comes to marriage. The belief is that you are not marrying an individual, you are marrying the family: its good, its bad and ugly. In the good old days, (and today for those attuned to their cultural roots), once two people made their love intentions known, covert and overt investigations began from both sides of the family. The CIA got nothing on those investigations. What are they like? What diseases are in the family? What generational demons are they dealing with? Are they of noble character? It was a fine tooth combing process! Families will go to an Ifa priest to find out if the marriage will last. It was an expedition.
Today, most people don’t do that….and we wonder why the divorce rate is over the edge in the church and outside the church. We wonder why we have high cases of domestic violence and all sorts of marital shenanigans. If Chuck saw daddy beating mummy, you know Chuck will one day have the tendency to hit his wife if you push the wrong button and his mind is not renewed.
Let’s get back to Duchess Meghan. My jaw dropped when she expressed her naivety. According to her, all she knew about the Royal family was based on what Harry told her. Umm…..Excuse me?????!!!
So she did not do enough due diligence to know what (not who) she was marrying into? She was marrying the monarchy! She was marrying an institution! Your grace, Duchess Meghan, I don’t know you like that but, hmm…I can’t give you pass mark. The fact that you are divorced will make me think you will do your homework. I don’t know why you left the first dude but….once bitten….. Sorry you had to learn the hard way. Your ignorance almost cost you your life. This takes me to my second lesson
2.Royalty is an institution. End of story. The monarchy is the same everywhere; England, Ile-Ife, Eswatini, Lagos….I can go on. The image, the razzmatazz, the expectations, the demands, the pressure is the same in ANY palace. There is the throne, the occupant of the throne and the power fueling the throne. The occupants are subject to the institution powering the throne. When you come to the palace, your life is no longer yours. The monarchy is a well oiled combustible engine (or empire) and everyone MUST fall in line to keep the façade. You are not allowed to rebel. The price can be costly.
Anytime I want to enjoy biblical Game of Thrones, I read 1st Samuel all the way to 2nd Chronicles. The inner workings of royal life and the monarchy does not get anymore salacious. For those wondering why Her Majesty the Queen has not come out to say anything or condemn the tabloids….simple answer: she is an occupant in an institution. Harry went as far to say his father and brother are trapped….hmmm, what and who are trapping them? I will leave you my dear reader to answer the “kweshun”
3. Harry disrupted a generational pattern. It takes courage to face an institution. It can go south. Harry knew this could end ugly. His wife could die. She was suicidal. It reminded him of his mother. Was he going to side with the institution or monarchy be damned? He vowed to love, cherish and protect his wife. Like Jesus Christ, he died to the institution, left it all so he could have his wife. Jesus loved the church enough to die for it. I do not know how many men will do it. Harry did it! He was willing to sacrifice the monarchy for love. His ancestor did it, he was ostracized by the Catholic church. His father, was miserable not married to his true love. Prince Charles did not have the fortitude to turn his back on the monarchy. Princess Diana had to die so he could finally marry the woman he always loved. Harry took it a step further. I applaud him for that.
4. Mental Health issues are real. Need I say more? Mental health issues know no gender, race, class, hierarchy, etc. I don’t pray for anyone’s mind to turn on them. It is a harrowing place to be. As someone who has battled a plethora of mental health issues, I don’t know how Megan carried her pregnancy to term. I don’t want to begin to think of the suicidal thoughts, the race in her mind, the mental micro-aggressions, the fiery darts from the tabloids and the institution. Nobody deserves an unsound mind. No one.
Their actions have probably sent shockwaves to the foundation of the British monarchy and the principles for which it stands. However, they have settled in the land of the free, the home of the brave. They will be fine. They will fluorish. Those trapped in the monarchy will be jealous and they are probably looking for a way out. My prayers go out to them